What Their Stories Revealed About Myself
From a young age, I understood the profound impact that compassion and support has on a child's journey. Nurturing the unique potential and fostering resilience in children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) has become not just my profession but my passion. Having navigated my own childhood challenges with anxiety, I developed a deep-seated desire to uplift young lives, believing that even the smallest contributions can spark meaningful change. I am excited to share my experiences working with children with Special Educational Needs And Disabilities (SEND), and how this journey has profoundly shaped my understanding of my own challenges and strengths.
I am Yasmin Ismail, a dedicated writer and emotional resilience coach on a mission to empower women to heal, grow, and thrive amidst life's challenges. With a degree in psychology and counselling, I discovered my true calling while working with children living with ASD and anxiety.
Building Connections and Celebrating Progress
On one September morning, I received my first briefing about the 11-year-old boy I would be working with: Jake (a pseudonym for privacy purposes). Jack had ASD ASD, a developmental condition characterised by difficulties with social interaction and engagement, including non-verbal expressions such as eye contact. Jake also struggled with fine motor skills, which made coherent writing a significant challenge. Despite the difficulties detailed in the briefing, I felt a surge of excitement at the potential I knew Jake possessed.
During our initial weeks together, he struggled to make eye contact and seldom responded to my questions. However, while observing him laughing at books and playing outside, I had an idea. I decided to use humour and his passion for trains to connect with him. I created learning games centred around trains and introduced a ‘funny face’ game to break the ice. This approach allowed him to open up, and gradually, he began to engage with me more actively.
As the months passed, I witnessed a notable improvement in his handwriting and overall work — progress that his teachers had not anticipated. At first, Jake would often say things like, “I’m not the sort of boy who can read,” or “I’m not good at writing! It’s a mess.” Each morning, I offered him positive affirmations and rewarded his progress with his favourite train stickers, reinforcing his achievements no matter how small. The biggest milestone came when I noticed Jake greeting other children and teachers, as we had practised in our sessions. He began integrating into the classroom, feeling comfortable like any other student. I treated him as I would any boy who was simply trying to learn. As Jake’s confidence grew, he started sharing more about his weekends and interests, and this newfound confidence inspired me to reflect on my own self-beliefs. If a boy with so many odds stacked against him could achieve what others deemed impossible, then perhaps I could, too.
Reflections on Self-Belief
Both Jake and I faced negative messaging about our abilities — his concerning reading and writing, and mine relating to my skills as a bilingual child.
As a child, I was often told that I couldn’t write coherently and was frequently given ‘easier’ assignments than my peers. This not only affected my confidence but also led me to doubt my dream of becoming a writer one day. Experiencing these challenges made me acutely aware of the small yet significant impacts that can shape a child's self-perception and aspirations.
Watching Jake hold a laminated sheet filled with beautiful handwriting, gleaming with pride at his progress, made me realise that it was okay for me to acknowledge my abilities too. He taught me that belief in oneself can overcome the odds. Initially considered the most underdeveloped child in his school, working at a Year 1 level while in Year 6, by the end of the year, he had advanced to an early Year 3 level.
One of the highlights of my experience with Jake was helping him create his little book filled with his writing and drawings. Encouraged by me, he read his "Spooky Halloween" book to different classes, capturing the attention of his peers. The smile on his face that day was unforgettable; it was the smile of a boy who had accomplished something he once believed was beyond his reach. To describe the impact of Jake on my life is an understatement; he changed me in ways I never anticipated. While I thought I was helping him, he helped me heal from my own negative self-beliefs, teaching me that we are shaped by what we tell ourselves.
Changing Perspectives
As schools across the UK strive to include children with neurodevelopmental disorders in mainstream classrooms, we are beginning to witness a shift in barriers and misconceptions. My own experience working in the SEND field has shown me that it is not our stance that needs to change, but rather our approach.
Jake exemplified this beautifully — a child many might assume was disengaged or unaware of his surroundings. Yet beneath the surface, there exists a vibrant world within children like him, filled with thoughts, feelings, and creativity that often go unnoticed. While we may lack the specific tools to access this rich inner landscape, we must recognise its existence and embrace the potential waiting to be uncovered. I felt as though my role was to connect, to listen, and to genuinely see these remarkable children for who they truly are.
As the number of children diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) continues to rise, our perspective on this condition must evolve, particularly within the educational environment. Too often, children with ASD are overlooked or confined to narrow categories, feeling the heavy burden of these labels.
To me, ASD is not simply a developmental disorder; it's a unique aspect of identity that adds tremendous value to each child's individuality. By embracing and believing in these children, we unlock their vast potential, allowing them to teach us profound lessons and inspire us to achieve far beyond what we ever imagined possible. With the right interventions in place, we can create a supportive framework that facilitates the integration of children with ASD into mainstream schools — a cohesive initiative that enriches the experiences of all students. From engaging reading games to vibrant colour-coded sentences, there are countless ways to foster growth and understanding across the classroom, ensuring that every child can thrive in a nurturing environment.
I deeply hope for a future where society embraces a compassionate understanding of children with ASD, recognising that they are not deficient but rather remarkable individuals brimming with untapped potential. When we truly see their unique perspectives, we open ourselves to valuable lessons and insights that enrich us all.
Working with Jake inspired me to finally open my laptop and start writing — something I had long considered a distant dream. Through helping him, I remembered the little girl inside me who didn’t have anyone to believe in her. The child that the teachers had dismissed was still there, waiting for someone to acknowledge her potential. That child was me. This is my story about the remarkable little boy who taught me more about myself than anyone else ever has.